WHAT “DEATH TO SELF” LOOKS LIKE - As our personality becomes reorganized around God and his eternal life, self-denial becomes our settled disposition. At first we self-consciously deny ourselves—reject the preeminence of what we want when we want it—and look to specific motions of God’s grace to guide and strengthen us in this. 

We will need a wise and constant use of disciplines for the spiritual life. This is because the substance of our selves, formed in a world against God, is ready to act otherwise. When we are dead to self we will not be surprised or offended at not getting what we want. 

We will not even notice some things that others would react to, such as social slights, verbal put-downs, or physical discomforts. Other rebuffs will be noticed, but if we are dead to self to any significant degree, these rebuffs will not take control of us or disturb our feelings or peace of mind. 

As Saint Francis of Assisi said, we will “wear the world like a loose garment, which touches us in a few places and there lightly.” Apprentices of Jesus know that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). 

They do not have to look out for themselves because they are not in charge of their lives; rather, God is. They appropriately look after things that concern them, but they do not worry about outcomes that merely affect adversely their own desires and feelings. They are free to focus their efforts on the service of God and others and the furthering of good. 

Some sensitivity to self will remain, but it will not take over our actions and lives. In my late teens and early twenties, I became quite vain and dependent upon what others thought and said about me. I wanted praise. In time and by God’s grace I became substantially - not totally – delivered through meditation on scripture, general studies, solitude, prayer, service to others, and just life experience, along with the movements of grace in my heart and soul. Perhaps I am rarely governed by vanity now – others must be the judge of that – but it is still something I frequently feel. And I know that it could be something that controls my feelings and behavior were I to let it.

Dallas Willard

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